A word on cover letters

Posted by Grá on Apr 29, 2010 in Unsolicited Writing Advice

Cover letters. Some markets require them, some ask that you include specific information, some don’t want to see them at all.

At Shimmer Magazine, we like ‘em. They’re a nice little wave from the author. “Hi, here’s a story. Thanks!”

A bad cover letter isn’t the end of the world, but when I open new slush for Shimmer, a lack of cover letter (or a cutesy one) makes me go, “Uh oh, better strap myself in for this story.”

Sometimes I’m wrong, it turns out to be a great story anyway, but usually not. Sure, a good cover letter doesn’t make your story any better and a bad one doesn’t make it worse, but don’t you want us to go into your story feeling confidence in you? A professional cover letter means you take your writing seriously — think about the impression you want to send.

So, for your perusal, I offer my very biased take on cover letters. Your mileage may vary. (Though I will say that these tips are probably useful when you’re sending a letter to Shimmer.)

Basic letter

First off, read the guidelines …

Lemme say that again. READ THE GUIDELINES.

Each market asks for specific information and formatting and it’s a red flag when you don’t follow the rules. You don’t want a mark against you before we even get to your story.

That said, here’s what I think is a generic, basic, bare minimum cover letter:

——————
Dear Editor,

Please consider my 1000 word short story, “Monkeys Really Are That Awesome,” for publication in Shimmer Magazine. My story is attached in RTF format.

Thank you for your consideration,

Writy McWriterson
——————

Boom! That’s it. You’ve told me you’ve sent a story. I have the name and wordcount and I get to feel like you care that a human being is about to read your story. Most importantly, I don’t have that “uh oh” feeling.

There are many different variations of this letter and some reasonable things to add. For example, personally I send:

——————
Beth Wodzinski, Editor <------ Look this up on ralan.com or most markets have staff pages.
Shimmer Magazine
PO Box 58591
Salt Lake City, UT

Dear Beth, <------ Some people use the full name, I think it’s ok to just use the first name.

Please consider this original 3100 word fantasy short, “Monkeys Will Buy Your Brain For One Million Dollars,” for publication in Shimmer, attached in RTF format.

I’m an associate editor at Shimmer and also facilitate the Wordos writing workshop. I’ve recently won the Whidbey’s Writers Award and Writers of the Future and attended the Clarion Workshop. My fiction can be found in Shock Totem and Doorways magazine & the Escape Clause anthology.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Grá Linnaea
XXX Smith st.
Smallville, KS 12345
(987) 654-3210
email@mydomain.com
——————

This is very subjective and your mileage may seriously vary. I don’t say this is the *right* way to do a cover letter, but it has worked okay for me. That’s it, no magic. No rocket science, just the basic information. If a market doesn’t want to see a bio or my sales, I leave them off.

Unfortunately, in my job as a slush reader, I often see more *ahem* creative uses of the cover letter. Here are what I see as some common mistakes:

1.) “Dear Sir”

When I send out my own stuff I usually go to ralan.com and look up the editor’s name(s). It just seems polite. It’s certainly not the end of the world to get a “Dear Editor” letter though. No big deal either way.

What is a problem is the “Dear Sirs” letter. For example, the Shimmer staff are mostly women. Even though I’m one of the few dudes, it really pisses me off when we get a “Dear Sirs” cover letter. Why are you assuming the staff is male? If you’re not going to look up who edits our magazine (Beth Wodzinski, btw), at least use the non-gender specific opening.

2.) Don’t be cute

——————
Hey chums,

This is your new best buddy. I beam this fiction-unit to you from the planet Pluto where all the best fiction grows. Shimmer is the best magazine ever! Buy this story or I’ll burn out your brain with a laser drill.

Galaxford The Mighty
——————

Somewhere out there is an evil “how to get published” book that apparently lots of people read. It implores you to GET NOTICED. Be funny! Be cute! Remind the editor how much you love their magazine and try to form a relationship with them! How can you sell your story if the editor doesn’t notice you, right?

Wrong.

You don’t want me to notice you because I find your letter annoying. I’m going to read your story, no matter what. Help me stay in a good mood before I read it.

3.) Don’t cajole, beg, apologize, etc …

——————
Sorry you didn’t like my last story. I only wrote it in half an hour. You probably won’t like this one either.
——————

I think there’s this idea that if you apologize for your work before I read it, I’ll be pleasantly surprised. No dice. Again I think, “uh oh” and open your story with trepidation. Same for cover letters that tell me how much I’m going to LOVE your story. Let your work speak for itself.

This may be only personal to me, but I’m not a big fan of “Sorry you didn’t like my last story, maybe you’ll like this one better.” It’s nothing personal, dude, we didn’t accept your last story, we might not choose this one, we’re picky. Your cover letter is not going to guilt us into buying something. Better to just send the stories one by one and see if something hits.

4.) Don’t summarize your story

——————
“Magic Monkeys Of Utah,” is a fun tale of merriment and woe where a lone monkey is able to overcome great adversity to save the woman he loves.
——————

Arg! I don’t want to know! I’m about to find out when I READ YOUR STORY.

Repeat after me: The short story market is not the same as the novel market.

When you submit a novel, yes, they want a summary of your book, but, with very few exceptions, short story markets don’t want summaries. Save yourself the work and show the editor that you are familiar with the process.

5.) Don’t pad your sales, don’t lie and leave your mom out of this.

Seriously, we’re a magazine. We know pretty much every other magazine out there. When I open a letter and see a list of eight magazine’s I’ve never heard of, my first thought is, “did they make these up?” We’re not trying to be mean, but we don’t care if your mom (or your college journal or a zine you yourself started) bought one of your stories. The only reason we want to see your previous sales is because we might see one that prints stories similar to us. And for God’s sake, DON’T LIE. I won’t say I catch everyone who lies about their sales, but there are certain writers who will never make a sale with us now.

Personally, I think it’s standard to list only three markets. Three. I don’t need to (and won’t) read your list of 50 sales. Tell me the best three, or the most recent three and let me get to your story.

If you don’t have any sales, no big deal. I’m going to read your story anyway, remember? If your cover letter is professional, then I’m going to go into your story with a fuzzy warm feeling in my heart.

6.) But DO use a cover letter

Should you just skip the whole cover letter thing and let me just get to your @!#$%& story? Well, it’s true some markets say explicitly they don’t need or want them. But unless they say that, assume we’d at least like the basic kind above. Here at Shimmer, it feels a little rude when you send a blank email with a story attached to it. We give a lot of personal comments on stories, but we generally don’t bother with folks who send us the blank emails. Sure, don’t be cute, but at least drop us a note.

Good luck!

del.icio.us Digg Facebook Google Google Reader Ask.com Yahoo! MyWeb Netscape reddit SlashDot StumbleUpon Technorati

Tags: , ,

10
 

Transitions

Posted by Grá on Apr 28, 2010 in Dear Diary

Last night i gave up on someone.

An old friend, or rather an ex, responded to my sending her a Happy Birthday email. Not angrily, not even rudely, but, as i’d become unfortunately accustomed to, in a safe, fake and socially diplomatic way. I didn’t even mind what she said as much as the lack of realness and vulnerability there. I closed the email and felt something click inside me. A voice said, “I’m done.”

We’d stopped being lovers for good reasons. We stopped being friends for more confusing ones. On my end it mostly revolved around walls. I can deal with people having a variety of feelings about me, around me, at me. But i don’t do well with people hiding to be safe, especially when we have so much history. It’s a pattern we’d talked about a number of times, but i think there’s a point when i have to accept that the chances of the pattern changing are slim.

Just to be clear, i’m not talking about J. When she said she wanted 6 months to a year space, it hurt, a lot. But she was clear. “I want this, i don’t want that. Let’s take space and then try our best.”

I respect that. I love her more for the clarity and vulnerability it took to say it. I look forward to what we’ll be next.

But yeah, the more i talk to this other ex the less i trust what she’s saying. I feel sad saying that, but sorta complete too.

Sorry to air my dirty laundry here, but this was big and i needed to work it out somewhere. I’m not calling anyone out, but i tend to hold on to people, forever. It’s something i like about myself, and i’ll probably continue to be that way, but sometimes the healthiest thing to do is give up and move on.

Moving on.

del.icio.us Digg Facebook Google Google Reader Ask.com Yahoo! MyWeb Netscape reddit SlashDot StumbleUpon Technorati

Tags: , ,

2
 

This wondermark comic represents far too many of my friends.

Posted by Grá on Apr 21, 2010 in Dear Diary, That's Just Silly

(especially the alt text)

And watching a lot of TV news.

Knock it off, guys!

Copyright, David Malki.

del.icio.us Digg Facebook Google Google Reader Ask.com Yahoo! MyWeb Netscape reddit SlashDot StumbleUpon Technorati

Tags: , ,

2
 

Oh yeah, London pictures

Posted by Grá on Apr 18, 2010 in Dear Diary, Travelogue

If you’re not friended to me on Facebook, here are some pictures from my trip to London.

NOTE: These pictures are from two or three weeks ago at least.

London Facebook album.

cool doorway!

cool buildings!

cool shops!

cool stuff!

del.icio.us Digg Facebook Google Google Reader Ask.com Yahoo! MyWeb Netscape reddit SlashDot StumbleUpon Technorati

Tags: ,

0
 

Me and the Caspian Sea

Posted by Grá on Apr 18, 2010 in Dear Diary, Travelogue

Me and the Caspian Sea

Just posted a ton of photos on my Facebook account.

The KEY OF DOOM!

Lot’s of fun pictures of Aktau.

Around town. / On the coast. / In my apartment. / Food.

Plants and buildings

Tea and writing at the Grand Hotel Victory

del.icio.us Digg Facebook Google Google Reader Ask.com Yahoo! MyWeb Netscape reddit SlashDot StumbleUpon Technorati

Tags: , ,

0
 

6000 miles from home: London to Baku, Azerbaijan

Posted by Grá on Apr 14, 2010 in Dear Diary, Travelogue

On the flight from London, they handed us very hot towels, which was awesome. I already felt scummy and it was a good start to wipe my face.

Everything felt five times more intense than my original trip to London. I kept saying to myself, “I’m over the North Sea, i’ve never been this far from home. I’m over the Black Sea. I’m over the Caspian Sea.”

The flight was so empty that most people lay across their seats like a bed. I tried to stay up for the entire flight because i knew i’d have to reset to another five-hour time difference, but ended up sleeping for a few hours, which really just made me groggy and gave me a neck crick.

They showed what may well be the BEST INFLIGHT MOVIE EVER. I think the name was “Fantomas,” but i can’t be sure. It was originally in French and then poorly translated (i could still hear the original dialog underneath the translated voices) into what i assume is Azerbaijani.

Did i say AWESOME? The villain looked like he’d dipped his head in lime-colored rubber and the police chief occasionally had three arms.

By the time i landed in Baku i was sleep-deprived and extremely nervous about language and customs and, i don’t know, being arrested for having purple hair or something.

Okay, fine, it wasn’t as bad as i’d worried, but i did have to run through four people and they took my passport for awhile and made me sit.

The Baku airport has smoke everywhere. Everyone smokes! As far as i can tell the airport is run by eight guys in grey suits with cellphones who rove around handing out boarding passes and pointing to gates.

Within an hour getting into Azerbaijan i saw not less than three men and one woman with entirely gold teeth. Entirely. Gold. Teeth. My camera battery died as soon as i left London, so i don’t have any pictures.

When i left again through the smokey airport, the pilot walked through the airport yelling, “Aktau! Aktau!”

Our plane died on the runway …

OUR PLANE. DIED. ON THE RUNWAY.

There was a lot of discussion, heated discussion, i didn’t track any of it … because it was all in Russian and possibly Azerbaijani. They sent a bus to bring us back to the airport while they got another plane.

Yes, this was kind of stressful and i briefly considered living in Baku forever or taking the train.

Once we did take off toward Aktau, they gave us onion-potato knishes, which sort of made everything okay.

del.icio.us Digg Facebook Google Google Reader Ask.com Yahoo! MyWeb Netscape reddit SlashDot StumbleUpon Technorati

Tags: , , , ,

6
 

Another review of “Life In Steam”

Posted by Grá on Apr 12, 2010 in Words Words Words

Frank Dutkiewicz of Diabolical Plots reviews the 25th annual Writers of the Future anthology and offers some pleasing words and reasonable critique of my story, “Life In Steam.”

—————-

Life of Steam by Gra Linnaea. Third place second quarter

Mendel is an Inquisitor for the Dominican Order. His job is to determine if the Babbage machines of competing planets are just simple computation tools or abominations to god’s creation. The planet Wood has one that far exceeds the churches rules. Mendel is conflicted. Fulfilling the Dominicans directive means ending a miracle of life.

A universe where planets are flat islands of rock embedded in the firmament of the sphere of heaven? Spiderships powered by steam? An orthodox religion that holds sway over entire worlds? Life of Steam is as an original concept that I have [n]ever read. I love this author’s imagination and the incorporation of a sci-fi element into such a fantastic fantasy.

I liked this MC and the dilemma that he is confronted with. A previous conflict in his past boosted this story up a notch for me. The ending and resolution came off as a predictable and a bit flat, however. I don’t know why but somehow it felt as if this story deserved more. High marks on originality.

Grade A-

—————-

Read the full review here.

del.icio.us Digg Facebook Google Google Reader Ask.com Yahoo! MyWeb Netscape reddit SlashDot StumbleUpon Technorati

Tags: , , ,

0
 

Script Frenzy!

Posted by Grá on Apr 1, 2010 in Words Words Words

My friend Gethin got me thinking about it and, what the hell, i’m only juggling:

  1. three short story collaborations,
  2. getting all my stories in the mail,
  3. querying agents for my last novel,
  4. writing the next one,
  5. revising short stories,
  6. writing new ones
  7. AND traveling Europe.

I think the time is right for me to write an entire (at least) 100 page graphic novel in the month of April.

It’s Script Frenzy, my friends, and i’m doing it!

So, along with all my usual European adventures, expect to hear me whine about my insane writing schedule and updates on my (dubious and hastily written) graphic novel. Whew! Artists take note, i’m looking for ya when i get this thing done.

Ok, i’m off to write the first 8 pages.

GO!

del.icio.us Digg Facebook Google Google Reader Ask.com Yahoo! MyWeb Netscape reddit SlashDot StumbleUpon Technorati

Tags: , , , , ,

0

Creative Commons © 2010 Grá Linnaea Some rights reserved.